My Meltdown!!!

Okay...so I think I may have had a nervous breakdown. YIKES!!! I have felt a bit overwhelmed with everything that I have on my plate right now, especially with Ryan gone, so it's no wonder I had a meltdown, but WHOA! I'm not so sure I like that. I am a single mom at the moment (with Ryan gone in Virginia), I have a job (working with a bunch of kids none the less), I have a wonderful calling in the church (2nd counselor in the Young Women's presidency) but with that comes a lot of responsibility (I think about those girls as if they were my own children and I worry about them all the time, I REALLY, TRULY love them), I come home each day after work and try to keep my house clean (with 2 kids that seems impossible), I still have to be a mom and take care of my own kids, and I am a visiting teacher. I love my life and I am very blessed but at the moment it seems like a lot to handle. Anyways...It was Tuesday night when everything just seemed to take the cake. We were at mutual and I had to bring my kids with me (anybody that I would call is usually at mutual with me, and my in-laws are in Texas, so I was out of luck!) I thought that it would be okay, but all Elly and Jordan wanted to do was run around (and ignore anything I tried to tell them). Finally I took Jordan out in the hall and had a "talk" with him. He threw a MAJOR tantrum. Holy Cow! It was awful. Needless to say I packed up Elly and we dragged Jordan out of there and headed home. I put him to bed right when we got back.

That night at about 12:30 am Jordan starts yelling for me. I quickly got up to see what was wrong. Yep, you guessed it! He had barfed all over. So I had to clean up the bed, wash all the bedding and take care of Jordan. This went on all night. I quite literally got 3 hours of sleep that night. It went on through the morning. Well....I couldn't take Jordan to day care so I had to make arrangements for a sub. (I already feel like a bad mom cause I don't stay at home, I actually work) So now I had to put my job first. I couldn't just call in. I had to go down to the school and drag my sick little boy with me, so that I could make sure the sub had everything she needed to teach my class.

As I was taking Jordan into my classroom, a woman that I work with asked me if I was okay. Right then I just started to sob. I had just taken all I could. She probably wished that she hadn't asked. I couldn't talk for fear I might cry more. I had tried to get a sub that morning but couldn't find anyone. I had to ask the secretary to help me get a sub. Luckily they did find one but she couldn't come until 8:30 and school started at 7:55. It was just a hard morning for me. My friend that I work with came in and asked me if I was okay and I just cried on her shoulder. She said I ought to call my home teachers and get a blessing. Well... I don't even know who my home teachers are. Since we have been in this ward (which has been over 3 years), I have only seen home teachers twice and that was right when we moved into the ward. Yeah...

The point for telling this story is this....For all you single moms out there, HANG IN THERE! I understand what you go through each day and I commend you for it. I am sure you handle it better than I do.